A Montanan Ponders the “Gender Neutral” Cattle Auction

We had AI put together a cattle auctioneer monologue for a gender neutral cattle auction. You can't say bull sale, bred heifer, steer...you name it. And we were dying laughing.

Background: "The Democrats are still on a bender...over gender." Greg Gutfeld had a hilarious segment the other day looking at the Democrat party's national leadership elections.

They have all these absurd rules about- well, this many have to be women, and this many have to be men, and this many have to be "non-binary." These guys were doing backflips trying to figure out if they checked all the woke check boxes before finalizing the vote for their party's leaders. (Guess they didn't take the hint in November, huh?)

I was talking about that story on the radio, and then we went to the farm and ranch report from our friends at the Western Ag Network. As we came out of that report, I couldn't help but laugh...wait a minute...we're not supposed to use gender specific terms anymore (according to the Left). We can't talk about bull sales, bred heifers, steers...you name it.

Later on in the hour our friend David Knobel showed up for the Woke Update of the Week and we got to joking about the story. Wait a minute, I should ask AI to write me a monologue for a gender neutral cattle auction! So I went to Grok and ChatGPT...

Here's my question: "make me a funny cattle auction monologue that uses non gender specific language to describe the cattle auction or bull sale"

Here's some highlights from the Grok monologue:

"Look at this prime specimen, folks! This isn't just any cow; this is a four-legged feast with a pedigree longer than your Uncle Bob's fishing stories. Check out those muscles, more defined than a gym rat's selfie on social media! Perfect for anyone looking to beef up their herd or their barbecue!"

"Don't forget, these beauties are as non-binary as nature itself - they're here to impress, to produce, and to make your life on the farm as fun as a barrel of monkeys. Let's get those bids flying, people!"

My Follow Up Question: What would the auctioneer say if someone in the audience asked if it is a bull or a heifer?

Grok: "Well, well, well, aren't you the curious one? Let's just say this fine critter here is a testament to the beauty of agricultural ambiguity!

Here's some highlights from the ChatGPT monologue:

"Alright, folks, welcome to the finest cattle auction this side of the fence line! We got beefy beauties, grass-fed athletes, and four-legged hay disposals just waiting to find their forever pastures!

"First up, we got Lot #1, a prime specimen of bovine excellence. They’ve got the muscle of a weightlifter, the appetite of a teenager, and the personality of your favorite in-law. Easy on the eyes, easier on the feed bill, and comes with a built-in early warning system for dinner time.

Full audio can be heard about 15 minutes in to the 6a hour below, and then we did the AI cattle auction monologue at the very start of the 7a hour.